Self-Care Check In

A week and a half ago I committed to 30 Days of Radical Self Care. I would like to update my follow-through status on my intentions:

The truth is that I was doing great until this last weekend. It felt as though something "fell" inside of me on Saturday night, even though I had a lovely weekend with Knight and friends. I don't know why or what prompted the drop, although I have some ideas. I feel more contracted than expansive. I feel a complacent cooling off in place of the fire of transformation and motivation I was experiencing. Allergies and headaches have thrown off my physical state. Chaos at work has me feeling unsettled, scared and sad. I need to find my center again. I am focusing on that today.

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1. Begin every day with prayer: Until a couple days ago I was reading either Prayer for Union or the Prayer for Love at the end of this post (or both) every morning. But I have been feeling compelled to pray more personally. Two days ago I changed the morning reminder on my phone (I use the calendar function to give me daily reminders of my intentions) from "prayer" to "pray for your self, your loved ones, your community and your world." Yet I am having trouble finding my voice for personal prayer and I'm easily distracted in my waking-up state. I am out of practice in talking to the Divine. I intend to explore my resistance to personal prayer through study and writing, and resume reading prayers in the meantime.

2. Write every day: I have written every day except last Saturday, when I was engaged in social engagements and never came home. I do not publish to the blog every day because sometimes I am not able to finish my posts. I am trusting Divine timing when it comes to publication.

3. Pay attention to my authentic impulses and speak my truth when I feel guided: I have definitely been speaking/writing my truth more, but I still have inhibitions that I am exploring. I have been speaking about my transformation out loud to friends more and more. And I have kept the lines of communication with Knight open no matter what.

4. Study: I have been reading from The Book of Awakening every morning. I am currently reading at least a couple pages from Love and Awakening every day (which is awesome!). Hmmm...seems to be a theme around awakening!

5. Friendship: The Universe has been gifting me with opportunities for nurturing friendship without effort. People are seeking me out to share time. It's quite lovely, but I don't want to count on others coming to me. I seek to reach out more as well, while maintaining a balance with time at home and in solitude. It would be really easy to immerse myself in social engagement, so this is an intention I need to be careful with.

6. Exercise: I did walk every single day until Monday. I didn't make the time on Monday and yesterday it was raining all day. However, I had a good hike on Sunday that was equivalent to two of my weekday walks. I think that giving myself room to miss a day and do more on other days is good. I need to make an effort to do yoga on the days I can't walk because of the weather.

7. Make better choices around food/nutrition and take a multi-vitamin every day: I have been taking the multi-vitamin, but I haven't made any changes regarding food and nutrition yet. I think I need to bring some consciousness to the idea of making nutritious choices as an act of self-love.

I am feeling good about my progress, even with the "drop" the last few days. The reality is that we are constantly changing and no matter how I strive for authentic joy and love on a day-to-day basis, I am human. I will have sick days, off-days, sad days, etc. If that is my authentic experience, then I must honor it, as long as I don't turn it into suffering.


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(This is a prayer by Mohamed from the Islam tradition. I changed the word Light to the word Love)

Prayer for Love

“O God, place love in my heart, and on my tongue love, and in my ears love and in my sight love, and above me love, and below me love, and to my right love, and to my left love, and before me love and behind me love.

Place in my soul love. Magnify for me love and amplify for me love.

Make for me love and make me love.

O God, grant me love, and place love in my nerves, and in my body love and in my blood love and in my hair love and in my skin love.

Increase me in love, increase me in love, increase me in love.

Grant me love upon love.”