Unexpected Sexual Adventure

I am not an erotica writer, or much of a story teller. But I do have a rich sex life and since this is the diary of an erotic hostess, I would like to make more of an effort to share my sexual adventures.

My partner and I had an unexpected sexual adventure last night. I was very tired, physically and emotionally. I didn't anticipate being up for sex, let alone any kind of significant play. But after a visit with a friend and before settling into bed, my partner wanted to see how the new leather wrist and ankle cuffs he recently purchased fit me.

I was getting ready to climb under the covers and dressed in only a shirt. He told me to lay face down on the bed so he could fasten the ankle cuffs with the ring placed front and center. Something happens inside me when Sir suddenly tells me what to do. There is also something about being face down with ass exposed that gets my juices flowing. As comfortable as I am with Sir, and as often as we are naked together, there is a vulnerability to being naked and in submissive space that turns me on. After fastening the ankle cuffs, Sir had me turn over and fastened the wrist cuffs. Then He pulled out his rope. I knew I was in for more than a mere cuff fitting. He hadn't tied me up in quite awhile, so my excitement was quickly overcoming my exhaustion.

I went to the restroom knowing that I could be confined for a bit. When I returned the ropes were hanging from the eyehooks in the ceiling over my bed and he was placing another rope under the top end of the bed with ends hanging out both sides. He told me to remove my shirt and lay down. He pulled some metal fasteners out of his bag and methodically tied each rope to the fasteners and then hooked the fasteners to the cuff rings. I was bound with arms out to my sides and legs spread open about three feet apart and three feet in the air. Sir removed his clothes and threw his boxers on my head to cover my eyes. He climbed over my body and put his cock in my mouth. He fucked my mouth, sometimes pressing his cock all the way to the back of my throat, taking my breath away for a second or two. I could feel myself getting very wet and my clit swelling with arousal. He pulled out of my mouth and moved down to fuck my pussy. He proceeded to go back and forth between my mouth and pussy for quite awhile. I couldn't see him, I could only feel his movements and would open my mouth in anticipation when I knew his cock was approaching. It really turns him on when I suck my juices off his cock. He has a variety of kinks involving cum.

I love mouth fucking, especially when it's "forced." I love it when he grabs a handful of my hair and directs my head down to start sucking or he holds my head in place while he fucks my mouth aggressively and deeply, causing me to gag or lose my breath for a few seconds. It is a new kink for me. As I've previously written, Sir's cock is the first that I've ever really loved. And Sir is the first man that I've truly felt emotionally safe with as a sexual Dominant (as opposed to a sensation top or sadist). He is a feminist man and we have an equal relationship dynamic in our every day lives. I feel comfortable with submitting to his sexual will and find pleasure in being used to fulfill his desires.

I also love being fucked hard and aggressively. When he has my legs tied up he moves me around to provide his cock with the best sensation and fill me up as deeply as possible.

We have talked a bit about facials. I know that he likes to watch porn on the nights that we are not able to be together and I have asked him about what he likes to watch and why. I like knowing if he has any unfulfilled fantasies. He likes a lot of different kinds of porn, but has expressed a specific interest in watching men cum on women's faces. I had never had a man cum on my face before. While there is a part of me that is repulsed by the idea (primarily due to social conditioning I think), there is also a part of me that is excited by it. I have told him that I would be willing to see what it is like.

He removed my makeshift blindfold. When I could feel that he was rock hard and close to cumming, he asked where I wanted him to cum. I told him to cum wherever he wanted to. He pulled out of me and knelt over my face. He fucked my mouth for a couple minutes and then pulled away to stroke his cock. As his orgasm approached I told him how much I love watching him stroke himself. I love watching the changes in his face as the tension builds and I love seeing his cock so hard and ready to burst. He said, "Here it comes," and I closed my eyes. First I only felt a drop hit my face, then I felt it squirt across my lips, cheeks, nose and eyes. It was warm but quickly cooled. I licked up everything that fell close enough to my lips. While I have difficulty swallowing when giving Sir a blow job (something about the warmth and taste combined), I really liked tasting his slightly cooled cum. Sir wiped up the bit that was on my eyelid but left the rest of the cum on my face as he moved down to give me an orgasm with his tongue. I came so hard I squeezed his head with my thighs and moved him around as my orgasm flowed in waves through my body.

I enjoyed Sir coming on my face, both the act itself and the sensation of it. It's not something I would want to do every time we fuck, but I certainly hope it becomes part of our sexual repertoire.

I have never had such a rich sexual relationship. I love that after a year of ups and downs, learning each others light and shadow, we are still so into each other. I love that as much as we've adventured together, we still have so much to explore about our desires and our kinks. I love that he turns me on so much that I can overcome exhaustion and moodiness to experience pleasure with him. I just love Sir so much I feel like my heart could burst with it.

*Art by Mr. Hues

Penis Passion

I just read this lovely article on Penis Passion by bell hooks.

"Returning to a blissful sense of the sacredness of the body, of sexual pleasure, we acknowledge the penis as a positive symbol of life. Whether erect or still, the penis can always be a marvel, a wonder, a magic wand."

I have had a complicated relationship with cocks over the years. I was sexually violated in my early teens and early 20's, as well as a survivor of domestic violence. I experienced a lot of unhealthy relationships and sexual interactions with men. I discovered my love for women in my early 20's as well and often wondered, especially after every bad relationship with a man, if I was really lesbian. While I loved sex with men, I really had no interest in sucking or touching their cock, or giving it any more direct attention than was asked for (whereas I have always adored pussies...which is why I dedicated an art project to them). As a feminist who participated in Take Back the Night marches and other women's empowerment activities, I found it difficult to separate the men I personally loved from the greater patriarchy that still oppresses women. I found it difficult to be comfortable with their blatant sexuality and desire, even if it was expressed without aggression. Based both in cultural and personal experiences, I got caught up in judgments about how men are obsessed with their cocks, which made me desire them even less.

And then last year I met my guy and his cock. I haven't just fallen head over heels in love with him, but with his cock, too. Yes, this is the healthiest and most loving relationship I have ever participated in, which inspires my tremendous sexual interest in him. Yes, we resonate intellectually, emotionally and sexually, which arouses my mind, my heart and my body. But there is something more to this cock love I have discovered.

As sensitive and wonderful as my guy is, he is still "obsessed" with his cock. He touches it and plays with it and talks about it all the time. He masturbates nearly every day that we don't have sex. And yet instead of being bothered by this, I find it endearing and fun.

"I believe we still need to see more visual images of the penis in everyday life."

Like bell hooks, I have formed a loving and arousing relationship with his cock that goes beyond erection and penetration. I love his cock when it is soft, laying against his belly when in bed, or nested against his balls when he stands. I find myself looking at it whenever it is exposed, wondering at its various states of being. I hold it often without erotic intent -- during our morning cuddle time or over his jeans when we're in the car or watching a movie. I kiss it often. I kiss it good morning or sometimes just kiss it hello for no reason at all.


"We could go down between male legs, abandon ourselves to mystery, and rise up satisfied and pleased with the knowledge that we could give and receive sexual delight. We could express our annoyance at expressions like blow jobs, which implied that anytime we sucked dick it was service work we did to pleasure men. The pretense was over. Females who enjoyed sucking dick could express that joy, could name it as an act of power which required males to trust in the sexual integrity of the female — to trust that at his most vulnerable moment she would give pleasure and not pain."

Oh, how I love sucking his cock. I have evolved from giving passive, dispassionate blow jobs that felt like work, to developing a repertoire of cock kissing, licking and sucking techniques for his pleasure. I have also learned how to give him a good handjob, something I had never done before him. I haven't learned and given these things just to please him, but because I get pleasure both from arousing him and from the acts themselves. It turns me on to suck his cock, most especially when he grabs a fist-full of my hair and fucks my mouth because he is so incredibly turned on.

"In a context of mutual sexual pleasure rooted in equality of desire, there is room for a politics of sexuality that is varied, that can include hard dicks, rough sex, and penetration as gesture of power and submission, because these acts are not intended to reinforce male domination."

My guy and I also have a developing D/s relationship. I find that I am having to work through shame and concern that I am turned on by being dominated by a man, that I desire to worship his cock, that I am so deeply aroused by rough sex and by being taken at his pleasure by mouth, pussy and ass. I am a service submissive by nature and you can see it in nearly all of my relationships, especially my relationship to the Imps. I have no issue with being submissive. It's been sexually aroused by acts that are considered demeaning to women that my inner feminist is reconciling with (and he is too I think). Having someone I admire, like hooks, give it a context of "mutual sexual pleasure rooted in equality of desire" is incredibly helpful. When we play rough, it is absolutely from a place of equal desire and mutual pleasure.

"...those of us who enjoy penis passion often find ourselves silenced by the assumption that mere naming of our pleasure is traitorous and supports the tyranny of patriarchy. This is simply faulty logic. Submitting to silencing makes us complicit. Naming how we sexually engage male bodies, and most particularly the penis, in ways that affirm gender equality and further feminist liberation of males and females is the essential act of sexual freedom."